The dictatorship of “Health”

person holding red bok choy
Photo by on

I have been thinking about this post for a really long time, the same time it has taken me to evolve into what I considered healthy.

At the beginning there was no red meat, just chicken, fish dairy and vegetables.

Then came vegetarianism and no meat, fish or seafood (eggs and dairy were allowed)

Then came veganism and away went any animal product.

And finally raw food, which removed not just anything that was from animal origin ( except for honey  and pollen)  but anything that was cooked or heated up beyond a certain temperature (about 45 degrees celsius).

This was my journey and my choices. But that was not the problem.

In the matter of us vs the rest of the world, when did we become so judgmental about what other people ate?

If we are vegan we look in horror and dismay at people eating eggs and wearing leather (again, that was my experience and I am not intending to criticize anyone).

If we are raw, the mere sight of stove with a bubbling stew gives us the chills.

We start restricing our social life and interactions with other human beings and make it all about the food we eat and the choices we make at that exact period of time.

After years of reading, comparing, believing and rejecting I have come to the conclusion that the idea of healthy has numerous interpretations, most of them correct and all of them completely different, depending on our needs and personal situation.

I eat fish, two or three times a week, eggs and small amounts of dairy. I have just quit coffee because I react badly to it whereas my friends can enjoy it without any issues.

This is my own personal health. Yours might be completely different.

Embrace who you are, what you do and what you choose to eat.

That is yours, and yours only to decide.

And that, it is completely fine.

Love, guilt and other shenanigans

Have you ever found yourself mesmerized by other people? On the street or in public transportation, and not just by what they look like, how they behave and move, what they read, what they are drinking and their interaction with other passengers (i called them riders)?

It is a great source of inspiration for a writer, but I have found myself measuring myself up to other people for pretty much most of my life.

There a chronic feeling of inadequacy, the ‘not’ factor ( not tall enough. not thin enough, not..something)

It is a widespread phenomenon and one that has taken control over me for most of my adult life.

And I wonder, where is this coming from? When did I become ‘not enough’?

Is this affects mostly women? Is this what we do to ourselves?

When I became a mother, the not factor syndromme got aggravated. I was never good enough as other mothers, so I thought, had  trouble setting up a routine for my little one, was obsessed with breastfeeding even if my baby would not take it and I isolated myself for at least three months while I was navigating the wonders of  family life with a baby and household chores.

Overtime I have learned to live with ´not´´, but it hasnt gone away entirely.

And then, somewhere in the instagram chaos I found  free sessions with a life coach.

I did not know what it was, but I trusted my intuition

The sessions were a game changer. Between snippets of the should and ramblings about obsession and bouts of anxiety I managed to stored ‘Mr Not’ in a small drawer in the closet of my memory.

It sometimes comes out on random occasions, uninvited as usual, but always returns to the closet.

And this is me, in a very small nutshell, love nutrition and my little gremlins and want to find ways to empower all these mums out there that suffer from the same syndrome.

Hold my hand and walk with me.

Thanks for being there